


I Love You // Goodbye

by Pins_and_Patches



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Based on a Billie Eilish Song, Character Death, Dustin Kropp has ADHD, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jake Dillinger has ADHD, M/M, Trans Dustin Kropp, Trans Jake Dillinger, i love you and goodbye, i was just kinda hit with the need to make this, idk - Freeform, idk how much is confirmed about dustin's character so im just kinda doing my own thing over here, this song straight up made me cry, vaguely and its actually two of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-16 22:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pins_and_Patches/pseuds/Pins_and_Patches
Summary: Maybe won't you take it backSay you were tryna make me laughAnd nothing has to change todayYou didn't mean to sayI Love You//Please, pleaseDon't leave mePlease





	I Love You // Goodbye

**November 19th, 2:00 PM**

_Dustin: Hey Jake_

Dustin tapped his phone screen recklessly, hoping Jake would respond faster. He had always been a little bit impatient, having combined type ADHD. Jake never seemed to mind though. It was one thing they had in common.

_Dustin: Hey_

_Dustin: Jake_

_Dustin: Jake_

_Dustin: Yo_

_Dustin: Kay cool_

He shuffled his fingers across the bumps on the back of his phone case as if he were playing the guitar, humming a soft tune to go along with it. He must've spent the rest of class waiting for his phone to vibrate, the signal that Jake had texted back, but it never happened.

On one hand, he was a little glad. If Jake wasn't here, he would have another day to put this off.

On the other hand, it was unlike Jake to ignore texts. He would always respond within ten to twenty minutes, even if he was home sick.

**November 19th, 3:22 PM**

_Dustin: Yo, are you at school today? I haven't seen you all day_

He still got no response for thirty minutes, and it was starting to feel a little wrong.

He examined the necklace he had made for Jake. It was a long and complicated process, but that sort of thing was one of Dustin's favorite pastimes.

Inside the heart-shaped locket were two pictures of them: One from when they were young and one recent photo.

The one from their childhoods featured two young girls, both sporting long hair in different styles. Jake's was up in a bun, and Dustin's was pulled over one shoulder and curled. They were wearing dresses, standing with their arms around one another, and seemed to be somewhere fancy, and he racked his brain for where they might've been. He'd known when he printed the photo, but it wasn't coming to his mind anymore.

In the recent photo, Jake was sporting his yellow jacket, zipped up, and Dustin wore an undone blue button-up shirt over some t-shirt. They seemed much more casual, like a candid photo of them hanging out after school. 

He shut the locket and clutched it tightly, rubbing his thumb over the engraving on it. It was a simple recreation of a scene from Minecraft, Jake's favorite game. He was hoping to ask Jake out, and he thought this might be a nice thing to give him.

He paced around the school for a while, waiting for any sort of response from Jake. Rain poured outside.

Finally, after what felt like forever, long after everyone else was gone except for a club that got out incredibly late, his phone vibrated.

**November 19th, 7:38 PM**

_Rich: DUSTIN_

_Dustin: What?_

_Dustin: Are you okay? Did something happen?_

_Rich: GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW_

_Rich: I'M OUTSIDE THE FRONT OF THE SCHOOL_

_Dustin: What happened? Are you okay?_

_Rich: IT'S JAKE_

Dustin froze.

_Dustin: Is he okay?_

_Rich: NO JUST GET OVER HERE_

Dustin put the locket around his neck and ran, gripping the handles of his backpack. The second he made it to the doors, he froze. Rich was sitting on the concrete, desperately holding his phone to his ear. He looked like he was frantically yelling at whoever was on the other end.

Laying next to him, seemingly barely conscious, was Jake.

Dustin shoved through the doorway, bursting out of the building.

_"Okay, now where did you say you are?"_

"Middleborough High School..." Rich managed through sobs.

_"Alright, we'll have someone over in fifteen minutes."_

"He's not gonna _fucking _survive that long!" Rich yelled, pulling the phone away from his ear for a second.

Dustin didn't bother listening to the rest of the conversation. He rushed over to Jake, Rich following closely.

"Jake...?"

Jake gently opened his eyes, whimpering in pain.

"What happened to you?" Dustin asked.

"I- I just... I don't...."

Despite staring intensely at him, it took Dustin a few seconds to process that Jake was sitting up, clearly hurting. Jake started to collapse and Dustin grabbed him.

"Jake, what happened?"

"I don't- know..." He whimpered. "I don't know what I did, I just wanted it to stop, so I jumped... but everything hurts now... I can't... This isn't what I wanted..."

"What did you want?" Dustin asked, though he was afraid he already knew.

"To...." Jake's voice trailed off for a second. "To die."

Dustin froze. He had been right, but even that hadn't prepared him to hear Jake say he'd jumped off the roof to kill himself.

"I'm sorry, Dustin... I'm sorry...... I love you..."

Dustin took off the necklace and placed it in Jake's hand.

"I made this for you," He said, his voice breaking. "I was going to tell you the same thing."

Jake held Dustin tightly, crying into his chest. Dustin didn't know how long they were there for, but finally Jake's sobs turned to coughs.

"I can't-" His voice was cut off by another cough. "Can't breathe...."

That alone sent a massive shot of adrenaline through Dustin's body. "W- What?"

"I'm sorry, I- I'm so sorry, Dus-"

He broke into another coughing fit. Rich and Dustin held onto him, keeping him up.

He collapsed onto the two of them and they grabbed him, holding him close but not tightly, so as not to hurt him. He was barely breathing.

"Thank you... for everything." Jake's voice sounded so dejected. Not scared, not sad, just like he had finally accepted something bad. "I'm sorry."

All Dustin could think was that he had accepted he was going to die. "Jake? What do you mean?"

Rich had gone silent. He looked just as scared as Dustin, but he just buried his face in Jake's jacket.

"Just a few more minutes, please," Rich said. Jake shook his head slightly.

"I'll miss you..."

"Jake?"

"I'm sorry...

Goodbye."

His body went limp.

"Jake... please.... Please, don't leave me.... Please..."

Rich broke down in tears, clutching Jake's body tightly. Dustin was silent. He could tell he was crying too, but he didn't feel sad. He just felt empty. His world had been split in two today, and the hole had pulled his feelings into it.

A few minutes passed and the dark sky and cold air was filled with flashing lights and sirens. The ambulance had pulled up to the drop-off circle in front of the school.

Jake was taken into the back. While they were moving him, he dropped the locket. Dustin scrambled to pick it up before it got crushed by the moving ambulance.

They didn't move from the spot Jake died.

Time might've passed around them, maybe hours and hours, maybe it was midnight everywhere else in New Jersey, but right there, on the sidewalk in front of Middleborough High School, it was still 7:45 PM.

And Dustin had lost his best friend.

He rubbed his fingers across the engraving on the locket, a blocky scene of trees and water with a rising sun.

_I love you._


End file.
